I just came up with an idea to combat global warming that will LITERALLY change the world.

I guess you could say it was co-inspired by Benjamin Franklin and Donald J. Trump.  You know—the only two U.S. Presidents who weren’t actually U.S. Presidents…

So I’m sure you are all familiar with Daylight Saving Time, which is the time of year when to garner more sunlight and extend our golfing hours we collectively agree to just pretend that it’s an hour later than it actually is, so that we set our clocks ahead an hour and get up an hour earlier, go to work an hour earlier, eat an hour earlier, etc., etc., etc.

Well…what if we just started doing the same thing with temperature ?

It would work something like this:

In the summertime, say around the same time that we start Daylight Saving Time, we would all collectively agree to just pretend that the temperature is really 30°F lower than whatever it actually is.  (The rest of the world could make the appropriate adjustments in Celsius if they wanted to, but we’d all know it was really Fahrenheit.)

Thus, if the temperature were, say, 100°, we would all just agree to pretend that it was really only 70°.

Everyone could wear sweaters, and we’d all save a ton on sunscreen and air-conditioning.

The energy savings alone would be staggering.  Of course…the government would have to start subsidizing the energy industry even more than they do already so nobody would lose their jobs.  Unless it was to automation, in which case it’s ok.

I mean, just think about it for a second.

I’ve even got a name for it.

We could call it Donald Saving Temperature (or “DST” for short).

I’m sure all of you can see the advantages to this, so I’m urging you to write to your ostensibly elected representatives and urge them to begin implementing it immediately before we all burn up.

It would probably help if you send along a check.


© 2018 Bryan Patrick Deno